Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
