Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This baby is an asshole
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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