Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
