i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
