i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
