He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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