anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
