so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
