New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
