Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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