The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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