R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
