I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
