i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
