Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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