I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
