Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
