they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
