But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
