My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
