My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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