He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
