So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
