One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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