guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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