I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
