well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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