Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
