She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
