We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
