i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
