He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
