My Higher Power is John Stamos
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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