Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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