I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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