This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
