my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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