It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
