come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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