I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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