She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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