I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well I just put wine in my tea
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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