When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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