Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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