Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
