Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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