finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I lost the right to judge tonight
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
