im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
