Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
