I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
