Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
