I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
