Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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