I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
