What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
