You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
